The mystery beverage option on a vending machine. Yeah.

Doing work.

Announcing at Miyako Strongman Triathlon.

NOTICE

I just read an entire article in a Japanese newspaper for the first time. Movin' on up...

Ah...WORTHLESS

I guess this is what happens to most blogs. The writer starts out strong enough, but slowly and surely the time between each post lengthens until all activity has utterly fled the page.

I think this can be avoided. Here's my offer:

If you'll tolerate my posts not being in chronological order at all, then I'll do my best-- nay-- guarantee that this thing will go on until it is one year old.

Anyway

I usually teach junior high school, but recently I've been deployed to an elementary school. I go there once a week and, unlike junior high school where I work with JTEs, I pretty much run the show. I decide what the kids learn (things that amuse me) and how they learn it (rowdy games, no writing).

It's a fun time. It's also more work.

Anyway, I like my students, and most of them like me well enough, but the fourth grade class at this school is the "ZT IS RAD TO THE POWER OF SICK" club. They think I'm the shit-- fucking awesome-- the tightest MF-er on the planet-- the bee's knees.

I did something right with these kids when I first met them. I don't remember what that was, but I do know that it has led us to a point where they turn cartwheels when I show up.

Hey, who doesn't enjoy being liked?

I try to return the favor by being a good sport. I amuse them by making dumb faces my father taught me, doing the old broken arm illusion (I was going to embed a link to explain, but I can't find an example of it on the internet), and letting them leap on to my back from higher perches.

Ninja children.

Anyway, I got to eat lunch with my crew today. Little did I know that we were in for a manzai lunch.

Manzai, as I understand it, is a form of Japanese stand up comedy. It frequently appears on the TV variety shows. It usually consists of two comedians, one of whom is the 'straight man' while the other is the goofier one. Hilarity ensues as the straight man berates the goofy one and is ultimately embarassed or otherwise comically defeated by the latter.

The plan was to eat lunch and then send a few students to the front of the class to act like fools for everyone's dining enjoyment. But as soon as I finished my Harajuku Banana Chocolate Dog (it's like an eclair) I was yanked to the front and ordered to dance.

I was going to embark upon a lengthy socio-policial protest against being cast as a English-teaching gaijin clown, but my ears were greeted by the pleasant sounds of an Okinawan folk song (reworked for school children) pouring out of the intercom system.

I really wanted to dance.

I glanced at my backup dancers waiting behind me and, without warning, attempted everything that white men not named Justin Timberlake should never try.

Of course, the class loved it. But I could have done anything. I was glad I did something.

Anyway, it was a pretty rocking time even though the manzai turned out to be a 'Get ZT to Dance - Noontime Special.' Man, these kids are WIN. Hell, I just added yet another aspect to the ongoing 'ZT IS AWESOME TO FOURTH GRADERS BECAUSE...' list:

1. He is super-strong-- he can lift a 9 year old with each arm and retain mobility with four attached to his back.

2. He is a great musician because he can play the guitar and the benjo (toilet). What's a banjo?

3. He is the best soccer player in Miyako and fast as lightning because he raced Taiga and Taiga's the fastest boy in Miyako and he won when they raced even when they raced four times and Zakku-sensei was tired and we gave everyone a 30m head start but not Zakku-sensei.

4. His monkey and fish faces are hilarious, and the swinging arm trick is endlessly amusing.

5. We get to scream like chimpanzees during English class.

And now...

6. He can dance really well, like Justin Timberlake.