So, they (members of the local board of education, my employer) thought it would be super kokusaiteki, or an otherwise good idea, to have me play banjo (very exotic) during the intermission at this term's junior high school English storytelling contest. Here's the thing: they wanted a complete show featuring me, a set of songs, and singing.
I'm a terrible singer. My Most Excellent Friend Eli describes my voice as 'cetaceous.' Yes, I pulled a fast one on someone in the JET Programme selection process: I don't have "excellent intonation, rhythm, pronunciation, and volume", or whatever is called for. I sound like a whale, and though whales sing in their way, it is a style that is fairly inaccessible. Like enka.*
Perhaps it is best described as not being entirely unlike the sound of a shitty practice amp whose bass knob is cranked up as the remaining tonal knobs are turned extremely off. That is, it can sound loud and deep, yet it is somehow inherently muffled. It's been a blessing and a curse since my youth. No, I take that back-- it's given me an unbelievable amount of shit. Mostly in the form of my dad yelling at me for mumbling all the time. And I can't sing.
So,
Clearly they had no idea what they were getting into. Sure, sure, I can play a few crappy songs on my crappy banjo with my crappy technique, but asking this guy to sing is agressively reckless. One could really sour the mood of the event by doing this sort of thing. And it's a day for the children, you know.
Still I reluctantly accepted the task because, well, I had already done this sort of thing for one of my schools. They had a schoolwide musical presentation in which I was called up to play "Country Roads."
Little did you know, all Japanese people are familiar with "Country Roads"; that is, KANTORII ROUDO(ZU). It was a safe choice.
Anyway, I did it. It was fine because the audience simply consisted of my students (who already know how cool I fail to be) and grandparents of said students. I could have gone on stage and hula-hooped for 3 minutes and been met with applause. It wasn't fine because someone surreptitiously shot a video and committed it to Digital Versatile Disc (DVD). Not that anyone has or will ever watch it-- it's probably sitting in a cabinet at the school. I'm still uneasy.
The board of education was aware of this whole affair. I decided it would be socially costly, if not rude, to decline their request for me to play, regardless of how much of an ass I anticipated making of myself.
With the actual contest weeks away, I had ample time to practice up and prepare a set list. So I waited until the day before the show to do all of that.
I decided to break out the guitar for one of the songs, Old Crow Medicine Show's "Big Time in the Jungle." No demanding singing there, and I like the song. On the banjo front, I readied "Rocky Top" (feebly reppin' for TN) and KANTORII ROUDO (why waste time learning a new song?).
Despite the changes and my newfound, cleaving decisiveness about what to play, I became extremely nervous as the performance approached. Really nervous. I made it a point to express my unease to every person I encountered regardless of whether the conversational context suited it. I felt like hadn't prepared well enough. Which I hadn't.
When I finished teaching that day, I decided to do what little practice I could manage. Half-panicking, I went outside and proceeded to go through the material.
It didn't take long for students to start gathering around me to listen. They emerged gradually, two or so at a time. This was fantastic because it helped me get used to the idea of performing in front of lots of people. Eventually the resident third year (our 9th grade) rockabilly guitar dude came up. I gave him the guitar and asked him whether he knew KANTORII ROUDO.
As if there were any question about the matter.
We jammed on that shit for 10 minutes. Everyone joined in and sang Engrish on the chorus, and I held the verses together while turning out some decent banjo rolls.
Rocking out with the students really turned my world around. I felt all genki and like myself again. This isn't meant to imply that I thought I could play the songs better-- it was just that I cared less about whether I sounded good and cared more about rocking. So, lots of positive energy was received at that moment, and it got me psyched up for the performance. As for the performance itself, I don't know how good it sounded, but at least I didn't forget any lyrics. One of my teachers stepped up and played guitar on KANTORII ROUDO (because everyone knows...) as I did my thing. I even did an extra song when the intermission ended up running longer than expected. Anyway, I'm not sure that I could have done it without kicking it with the students first.
Thanks.
* ZING, JAPAN! Or not.
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